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Looking for Mr Right?... Think like a ceo!

Love is the most sought after commodity on the market today. Consider the proliferation of online dating sites on the World Wide Web. From CEO's to cashiers, we are all looking for love, some of us are even willing to pay hundreds of dollars for the opportunity to find a possible love match. From Awale to Yomi, everyone wants to find love.

Why is it such a hot commodity? Well, because we can't find it, or more accurately can't figure it out. Love brings with it the promise of companionship, romance, family and comfort.   So know we know why we want love, the question that remains is how do we find it? When you ask most people why they haven't settled down most of them say, “I haven't found the right person yet”. So apparently the question should be “how to find Mr. Right”.

Most of us are adept at the necessary strategies to succeeding in the corporate world. Put your best foot forward, network, get a mentor, and so on and so forth. We learn this in college or through experience and we recognize that success in the corporate world requires effort and strategy and this rule rings true for most aspects of our lives. So why do we leave the one aspect most of us deem most important to chance. We sit at home, watching old romantic movies, reading novels or talking to our friends…just hoping and wishing…that someday he'd come along. As if Mr. Right was walking around offering 3-carat rings and proposal, like a door-to-door fiancé.

How about taking a new approach, develop a strategy, becoming proactive and putting some effort into succeeding at love?

In the game of love, it might be a good thing to think like a CEO. Consider yourself as You Inc. You are the CEO of You Inc and you have a position to fill; the position of partner/companion/maybe even husband. So as a CEO, looking to fill a position there are a few steps you must follow in order to get the best candidate for the job.

Know your worth : Every good CEO knows their company's worth. They know what the going rate for one of their shares is, they know what their revenue is and they know what their liabilities are. They understand how to value their company and so should you.

What are your assets and liabilities? If you don't know you should sit down with a pen and paper and write down everything that you consider a plus and everything you consider a minus and if you don't have anything in your minus column then you should get real and look again. Your negatives are just are just as important as your positives, for example if you are a drama queen, it is important to choose a candidate who is best as diffusing situations rather than someone who adds fuel to fire.  

What is your company's mission statement? This statement defines your life plan, your vision for the life you want to lead. This is a very important question to answer because the best relationships occur when both parties have common goals and the same vision. Sometimes women make the mistake of looking for a life partner before they have defined their mission statement and then they cry foul when their mate seems headed down a different path from what they want. Your mission statement doesn't have to be elaborate; it can be as simple as “I am anti-struggle”. The most succinct mission statement, one woman ever heard was “I no fit for wahala” and this came from a woman who had determined all she wanted was a man who was rich and would share his wealth, she didn't care if he was faithful or not, just as long as he took care of her. Her husband today may not be the best by most standards as he is known to have mistresses in every city but she strokes her Louis Vuitton and is content in knowing she fulfilled her mission statement.  

Have you reached your full potential? You should ask yourself if you have started on the path towards your vision. What successes have you had in this regard? What challenges have you met? What is your plan for overcoming them? The best companies not only get the best candidates but they know how best to merge with them in order to achieve their common goals. In order to do that you must be at a place of comfort knowing that you are headed down the path of success already. You can't be sitting in one spot thinking some prince is going to come along and save you. Not only is it unrealistic it is unproductive. Truth be told, you attract what you are…funny how life works that way. If you are lazy, chances are you will attract a fellow sloth, because no hard working person would be able to stand being around you much less marry you. Consider this in days past, the a wife in Ibo land was called Oriaku, which literally translated means eater of wealth, as time went on, the term became Odozi aku – meaning keeper of the wealth, however these days, the term is now o so akpata aku – She follows to bring the wealth.  

Do you like your company? If you don't like your own company, then you need to stop looking for any candidates and immediately start restructuring your company. You must have self worth in order to attract the best partner. In fact attempting to get a partner without a strong sense of self worth, is at best ineffective and at worst, dangerous; As you might attract those that like to prey on small companies with no self worth, and instead of merging with you to form a stronger company, they may simply break you down and sell off the sum of your parts.  

Next you must redefine your concept of a good candidate. There a few points you must take note of as you define what you are looking for?

A good candidate should be available. This is the most important point you should note if you are looking for partner or relationship. It doesn't matter how wonderful a man is, if he is married or committed to someone else then he is not a good candidate. Sure there have been women who have been able to get unavailable men to fill their position, but then they usually have to pay large sign on bonuses (alimony, etc), deal with a lot of relocation nightmares (baby mama drama, ex-wife palaver, home wrecker wahala), have a lack of security (it's not hard for person ting, to become person's ting O!) so you have to ask yourself is it worth it.

A good candidate should be interested in your company. Men in general are very straightforward, either they are interested or they're not. If a man expresses to you through his actions or his words that he is not interested in you, then as a good CEO, you should cut your losses and move on. Some of us are dysfunctional CEOs, only interested in the unattainable. If a man is seemingly a player or emotionally unavailable, then that is who we go after, in this scenario, do a gain/loss analysis, in order to gain him, what would you have lost?

A good candidate should fit into your corporate culture. Your corporate culture is the basic tone to your life. It encompasses your values and your sensibilities. You must identify your particular culture and then seek a candidate who matches it. Sometimes culture has to do with your ethnicity and sometimes it does not, it all depends on you, the CEO. There is no sense of a traditional company hiring someone who is rigidly set in urban culture because it will be a clash of cultures.

A good candidate should be living up to his potential. The question is whether or not he is going to be an asset to your company. Sometimes we get bogged down in a candidate's potential. He's not working, but he has these ideas, and he hasn't done anything about these ideas yet because he's an artist and these things take time. If this sounds like you, seek the advice of labor lawyer immediately. Now of course that's not to say if a man is not successful, kick him to the curb, however there are some paths to success, if your man does even know where his path is and doesn't care to find it, then, Houston, we have a problem!

A good candidate should like himself. He should feel secure in who he is. If he doesn't like himself then he will undoubtedly be constantly frustrated with his person and eventually resent you for being “better” than him. If he loves himself, especially if to a narcissistic degree then he is not better, all you will be is a reflection pool showing him only his best features, but the day you turn into a mirror reflecting his flaws as well as his strengths, he may turn on you and the mirror will shatter.

Now you have defined what kind of candidate you are looking for, you can begin the search. Take note of what level candidate you are looking for. This strategy can be used to attract candidates at various levels, whether you are looking for a date or a husband.

1. First strategy is marketing. Showcasing your company in the best possible light and getting exposure for your products. What are your best assets? Your face, your body, your cooking, your voice etc. Showcasing your products means getting your name out there but in a subtle and positive way. If you are a great cook, hold a dinner in your house. Tell your friends to bring their male buddies and or significant others, even if you don't meet someone at your dinner, the word will travel about your culinary skills and you know what they say about the way to a man's heart.
2. Be aware of your company image. Sometimes what you believe your company to be is different from what people perceive your company to be. It's all about the image you present. For example you may be a serious minded, focused PhD candidate, but if you are dressed like a video hoochie, then people as more likely to perceive as the latter. Remember you only get one chance to make a first impression and it's all about the image. Get a publicist. Find a friend who knows everybody and have her start dropping good words about you in people's ears. These should positive tidbits about you, not “my friend is looking for a husband”, and don't focus on just the men. Having women think well of you is just as important, after all how many well meaning and meddling sisters, cousins and mothers are there out there…
3. Hire headhunters. Contact a few trusted friends, both male and female. They should not be more than three and they should be in a position to find you suitable candidates. If you have more than three then you have less of a chance of your mission being iscreet and if you have less than three your reach may not be adequate. Secondly make sure that your three recruiters are fishing in somewhat different pools so you are getting a variety of candidates. Be sure they have a complete understanding of the position you are looking to fill and it's requirements.  

All of the above steps should land you a good number of potential candidates. After which the main concern should be narrowing things down.

Look for our follow up articles… The interview process , how to screen out the nuts over wine and jollof rice … The new employee handbook , how to hire and train Mr. Right … Breaking up , the fine art of saying “You're fired” .

Bonne chance!

E. Onu

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