polygamy

The age of polygamy is gone. In most Christian homes, a wife no longer expects to one day share her husband with another woman. In most modern day Nigerian homes, men are generally monogamous, aren't they?

Looking at the culture in Lagos today, one cannot help but ponder the question, is polygamy extinct or has it simply reemerged in a new form.

Ask the average Lagos society woman if she thinks her husband cheats and expect to hear hisses and sighs… “What kind of stupid question is that jo?” This is the kind of response received from so many women in Lagos.

Meanwhile many young women are on the prowl and married men are a welcome target, with the promise of cheap thrills, no strings and financial upgrades. Who cares about moral issues like adultery, marriage vows, home wrecking? Married men tend to be more established, more successful, and more stable than single men. A postgraduate Nki put it this way, “when I date a married man, I can be assured of a good time, minimal commitment and definite financial gain. It's not that I am not looking for love, but man must wack now!” Wacking, I presume means maintaining her Honda accord driving, designer clothes wearing and Victoria Island apartment living lifestyle.

So women are hungry and men cheat on their wives. What's new about that? Adultery has been around since biblical days. So what? What's new is the acceptance of it. A man is married and has a mistress, and everyone knows it and accepts it. In fact, husband and wife seem to have an agreement, almost the equivalent of what Americans call an open relationship. Husband provides the funds that maintain wife's lifestyle and she in turn doesn't give him grief about his girl friends. More and more we are seeing this especially in high society among the so-called big men and women. Na wa O. Again one is forced to ask, is this not a new form of polygamy? A man cannot legally take more than one wife, but can he socially? It appears so. Considering the numbers involved in this, one can call it the rule and not the exception. Cheating happens so much and so often, one wonders if we should still call it cheating.

If you go to your mother and tell her you husband was cheating, chances are she won't advise you to leave his house, she may simply say, try harder to please him, after all…Di bu ugwu nwanyi, A husband is the honor of a woman…

The new polygamy

Consider this a little food for thought, some pepper for your pepper soup….